Love Thy Neighbor

By Gail · 5 Comments

I’ve decided something. I’m really not good at the ‘neighbor’ thing. I’m sure a lot of it stems from my beliefs, the ages of my children, my personality, and the list could keep going. If you keep up with me on Facebook you will have a read a bit of the latest saga with the neighbor kids. If you don’t, here is the story in a short version:

We have 2 neighbor kids, brother and sister, 7 &8. They live two houses down from us, and, honestly, are here more than I care for. Greg and I have really talked about the reasons we actually allow them to come over. Most of them revolve around trying to be a light for them. In the midst of that, however, is if they are at our house, they need to abide by our rules. I’m sure they don’t like me, but, they do keep coming back. Anyways, yesterday Greg was out working on the yard, and I was cooking dinner. I came outside to see if he’d be done soon, and over heard Zoe’s conversation with ‘the girl’.

The girl: holding baby doll.

Zoe, “We don’t hold Aliyah like that. It could hurt her.”

The girl, “Did you know if you shake a baby hard enough it’ll die?”

Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now, I know to some of you this may seem innocent enough. However, when I know they are watching things and hearing things they shouldn’t it does concern me a bit (i.e. Chuckie- the boy asked Greg one time if he had seen it. He made it very clear he had even though it was rater R and he wasn’t supposed to watch it.) This is one reason why I don’t like them here. I just feel like they are too old to be playing with our children. Our kids like to play in rocks. They come over with their iPods in. Just sayin’.

I got to thinking about the greatest commandment.

“Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’This is the first and great commandment.And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22.37-40

After all, they are my neighbors. Can I love them like myself without letting the negative influence my children? Am I really being trying to hard at protecting my children? I already know I’m ‘that mom’ who doesn’t let her kids do anything. I’m okay with that. I understand that babies really do die because parents shake them. I know that is a reality. Is it really wrong to want to keep my 5 year old from that?

So. Where is the balance? How do we love our neighbor and protect our children? As you can tell, I don’t have this one figured out. At all. If you do, I’d love to hear how your family is a positive influence on your neighbors.

Blessings,

I would love to be friends!

You can subscribe by email or connect with

The Imperfect Housewife on Facebook, Twitter, or Google.

5 Responses to Love Thy Neighbor

Karen says:

at

I would above all protect my Children’s Hearts! For this would be the most important aspect of keeping our children from falling. The Word of God is very strong about allowing our child or children to fall or to stumble…in fact it would be better to die than to let them stumble at the hand or words of the ungodly. That is why we have chosen homeschool. Being able to set apart our offspring for Godly Training is very important. We would remember that bad company corrupts ~Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”~ 1 Corinthians 15:33 Also many verses in Proverbs to help us as well. Yes there is a time and place for interaction of the unsaved, but a newly sprouted Christian isn’t equipped to be in this place alone…and without a LOT of guidance…lest they fall. If you need to witness, and the Lord is leading you to be this witness, I would pray about witnessing to the parents of these children, for witnessing can be done but to send your young immature children into a force of evil is probably not the best place to allow them to be. If these were not children, I don’t believe you would have a part of their lives….but remember the force of darkness that indwelling in them is just as powerful or even more so, in them because of their age. There are SO MANY that have lost their children to “neighbor” influences. I would guard and protect until your children have a FIRM foundation. With many years of Child Training, Biblical Teaching, and walking faithfully with Jesus…they will have a solid rock to stand on and will be EQUIPPED to share.

Reply
Cindy says:

at

This is really something I’ve struggled with in the past. I have some relatives that are much the same way as your neighbors (though our actual neighbors seem to be OK, so far). My hope is that as long as I’m guiding my kids and maintaining the relationship with them the way I should be, those sorts of encounters will be learning experiences for them instead of stumbling blocks.

I do (quietly and without explaining it to them, lest they get a stuck-up or fearful attitude about non-Christians, and especially poor ones like the people I’m speaking of) supervise those visits more closely and I don’t let them get out of my sight for too long. My kids are pretty small, and as they get older, I will probably have to find a way to keep them separate because of the wildly different values we have. I try to limit the amount of time spent with them now, but I have a close friendship with their mother, and hope I can help her find Jesus, so there’s really quite a bit of contact between our families.

I don’t hang out with certain types of people (drinkers, for instance) while they’re doing wrong, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with teaching my children to discern which relationships are worth building, or when it’s necessary to walk away. So far, my kids seem to intuit that there are huge differences between the way our family lives and other families, and they behave accordingly. So far.

There’s a difference between being a light and feeding your children to the wolves, though. I’d say if you’re not building a relationship with those kids’ parents, you’re probably not helping the children that much just letting them hang out at your house, so maybe it would be better for your kids if they were there less often. I don’t know that, of course, but your kids are your first responsibility. You have to follow your own heart on that, naturally. There’s only so much you can do, you know.

Reply
- Cindy says:
  
  at
  
  I should note that I mean HEAVY drinkers who drink to get drunk. Partiers, etc. I don’t think having a beer is a sin.
  
  Reply
- Gail says:
  
  at
  
  No, we are not building any sort of relationship with their parents. They appear to be very absent from the lives of their children. The kids just show up at our house. They’ll ring our doorbell (during nap time) and ask if the kids can come out and play. On Sundays, we get home from church and as I’m opening the garage door they are right behind me on their bikes seeing if the kids can come out….. It’s tiring really. It is very closely monitored when they are here. Thankfully they have not been over too much this summer, as I thought they’d be over every day at 8 since school is out. It has certainly created opportunities to teach our children. Thank you for your comment, Cindy. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
  
  Reply
Beckie Garrison says:

at

Really interesting post Gail! It reminded me of something I just read in “Blue like Jazz.” I’m paraphrasing, but basically when people do things we don’t like our natural reaction is to withhold love in order to show them that we don’t like what they are doing (“teach them a lesson”). But this rarely ever works because when a person can tell that you don’t like them, they are very unlikely to be motivated to change. Instead they get defensive and don’t like you back. I’m realizing that I withhold love pretty often to try to change others in my family and in relationships outside the home. Not only does it not work, but Don Miller the author of Blue like Jazz, points out that this is not what God does with us. He punishes those he LOVES. He allows us to experience the consequences of our sin but He doesn’t withhold love in order to punish. His kindness leads us to repentance. It’s true but very hard for me to practice…
There is a little boy at our church here in Russia that I really didn’t like when we first arrived. He’s the same age as Levi and his mom was one of the first people here to befriend me so we would get together for playdates and were together at camp. That first summer together, Levi was hit, bit, scratched, and generally terrorized by this little boy. I quickly labeled him as a bad kid who wasn’t being disciplined for his out of control behavior. Every encounter reinforced my opinion and in my heart I was totally cold toward this child. About 6 months ago we were at church together – another Sunday of this boy acting out of control and causing havoc. I was sitting there watching his poor mom about to lose it as she tried to get her kids ready to go home and I realized that I could continue ignoring and disliking this little boy because I thought he was bad and she mom wasn’t discipling him, or I could show him that I loved him. I found some toys in my purse and entertained him while his mom called for a taxi home. Trust me this wasn’t a gushy, warm, fuzzy moment. It was a choice and felt very mechanical. But you know what, since then I really love that kid. And the weirdest thing – he loves me! Whenever we are together, he wants to be with me and holds my hand, following me around like a little chick. He cries when we have to part ways. He and Levi still have fights, and he’s still hyper and occasionally destructive. But God has allowed me to see that he’s no more a “bad kid” then my own kids are bad kids. And that some of his bad behavior stems from the fact that even as a toddler he can tell that people don’t like him.
Anyway, all that to say that I think this is an issue for every mom and I’m glad you wrote about it!

Reply